dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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