I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
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