i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
as a side note pls kill me
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
