Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize