i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
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