why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
