True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
