Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm bleeding and have questions
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
