You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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