Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
