There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Who died my cat blue again?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
