There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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