What a fucking waste of an outfit
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
