Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
