Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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