Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
so explain again why im purple
no
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
What a dumb baby whore.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
