how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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