i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
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when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
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Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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