you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
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He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
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Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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