at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
