Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
