Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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