girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
