nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
