I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
