Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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