Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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