I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
