my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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