her vagine was all disorganized.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
