Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
