Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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