What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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