Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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