You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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