just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
