she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize