Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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