I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
