He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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