I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
