I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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