Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
