she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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