He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
