the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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