I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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