you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
