Is it because I queefed?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Im part way to drunk.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
