Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
