My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize