i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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