I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
