you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
