This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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