The brown eye won't let me do that either.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
