Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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