she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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