Duck Duck Cougar?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
