margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
