Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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