Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
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the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
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I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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