Are we in a gay sports bar?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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