is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
