we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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